Polyamorous gay dating site

After giving it a shot, I realized that I am better equipped to handle the struggles that come from polyamory than monogamy. Clearly, both setups come with a myriad of issues, but what makes me happiest, most comfortable, and most satisfied, is polyamory. Polyamory, ironically, also alleviated my jealousy issues and relationship-induced anxiety, simply because I trust my current partner unconditionally.

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Like most people, I knew nothing about polyamory when I stumbled into it. I believed the false misconceptions that surround poly life. I thought people use polyamory as an excuse to screw around. I thought all polyamorous relationships are doomed to fail, with one person being left out. I also thought that poly people are insecure, given that they need validation and support from various partners.

While I have encountered all of these things and people in the poly community, I can safely say, these hurtful stereotypes are false and don't accurately capture the true spirit of polyamory. I write about consensual non-monogamous relationships often. Without pushing any agenda, I try to help others by offering another option to monogamy.

It's worked for me, and I wish I had known poly was a viable option sooner. But I also know I'm not special. I'm like many other queer men out there. My experience, struggle, and identity are undeniably mine, but once I stopped believing I was the center of the universe, I was able to realize that my journey mirrored many queer men before and after me, and I now think that other people could benefit from being in a monogam-ish, open, or polyamorous relationship.

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Still, when I even hint at the idea of not being percent monogamous, guys throw more than hissy fits; they have full temper tantrums. I'm not even saying go out and date a million people; I'm saying that if both you and he are exclusive bottoms, maybe it's worth it to consider bringing in a third.

But that's enough for guys to become furious, taking their comments to every social media platform. These comments never bother me because I know they're wrong. They have, however, led me to repeatedly ask the same questions: Why does the mere mention of a non-monogamous relationship make these guys' blood boil?

I understand it's not for them, but why do they get so angry that open relationships work for other men? Why do they feel that it's important that everyone be like them, in a monogamous relationship, when it doesn't affect them?

Is it a matter of arrogance? Do they assume everyone is like them? Have these men been cheated on? This shouldn't be such a sore subject and source of unrelenting rage. I've tried engaging with the monogamy-or-bust folks, going straight to the source, but I've never learned anything useful. They are so consumed by anger, that they can't speak logically about why something that has nothing to do with them provokes such outrage.

Honestly, they sound like the anti-marriage equality crowd. They say the same things repeatedly about how it ruins the sanctity of marriage or in this case, relationships , but when you ask how it affects them personally, they don't have an answer.

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But for whatever reason, this remains a source of animosity. That said, here's what I have noticed. OkCupid offers a curious and fun mix of singles looking for all sorts of partnerships, and for whatever reason, it has attracted a significant number of polyamorous singles and couples looking for other folks to share their love with.

Perhaps it's the flexibility in their gender and relationship statuses—for instance, you can list yourself as 'attached' as well as 'looking' at the same time. Or, maybe it's the open feel of the site that welcomes folks of all loving beliefs to its folds.

For Open Relationships

The folks who run FetLife, as well as many of its members, may cringe at joining the ranks of the dating sites listed here, as the alternative lifestyle social networking site makes a point of staying away from typical 'dating' searches and features found at the other websites on this list. Still, there is a significantly higher-than-average number of poly folk on FetLife, with a staggering number of local groups catering to those seeking multi-partnered relationships.


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Okay, so we've deviated a bit here, offering up local resources instead of a specific dating site, per say. The thing is, networking is key in this kind of search, and often times you'll find meeting folks at real-world events the best way to communicate and connect with like-minded individuals. With that in mind, try searching Meetup.